Dear Java


Dear Java,

It pains me to say this after all we've been through, but I think we both knew it was coming. Our relationship cannot go on as it's been the last few months. We both know you're bad for me, but I love you so much the idea of giving up on us completely seemed inconceivable. But after what you've put me through the last few weeks, I can't take it anymore.

When we met, we were exactly what each other needed. You picked me up and lifted my spirits with such consistency, making it possible for me to be productive and inspired as I'd never been before. And in return I was loyal and devoted, turning to you even when something else might have served me better, even when you didn't mix with anything else on my plate, I did not desert you.

But now you blow so hot and cold! A little touchy-feely in the morning gets me turned on, but as soon as I want more you turn sour. My insides ache and the thrill is gone. Sure you taste the same, but the pain you're causing me inside is something I didn't think you were capable of.

Maybe we've just changed. I mean, you already know I've been cheating on you with Matcha (okay, and Roobois, and Herbal, I was desperate!), but somehow I thought this last go-round would work. I tried to pledge my unwaivering love for you, even stopped trying to milk you or use sweet talk, but all I got was sleepless nights and nausea. I tried talking to your brother, De, about it, but he said the best he could do was offer intermittent support. He refuses to stand in for you, and can't really give me what I need anyway.

So after nearly a decade of laughs, tears, pancakes and hangovers, I have to bid you farewell. It's for the best, really. I need an older man who can calm my nerves, and you can finally go after that college student you've been eyeing.

Thanks for the bittersweet memories,

Jen