bluealvarez

I had some machine crapulence Sunday and it just got righted yesterday, more or less. So I still don't have pictures of new knitwear, and won't until the end of the week.

As a consolation, please accept this awesome post from Treehugger about the Electric Vehicle race, and your 17 best options for giving up the gas:

17 Electric Vehicles to choose from!.

It is chock full of pics, and some pretty sexy ones too, I might add. Enjoy!

I apologize to anyone who has tried to access it today. I have no idea what's going on, but the server my site is on is down because I can't receive my email either. Fucking computers. I have been with DrakNet for 4 years now and this has never happened, so I figure that's still a pretty good track record. :p

More updates as it develops.

Update: DrakNet wins the fight! It was not even 20 minutes - on a SATURDAY NIGHT - before they had totally fixed the problem. Score!

Let me reiterate, for thanksgiving and good karma, DrakNet all the way.

For your literate entertainment:

China's 2006 Human Rights Record as written by the United States government.

U.S. 2007 Human Rights record as written by the PRC.

UN Speaks out against Bush Administration's human rights record

All's fair in love, war, and international relations, right?

I will have pictures of many new tank tops and awesome stuff I have been speedily churning out for stores on Saturday. However, for today, more talk of our friend to the East.



Basically, I implore you to read this whole page if, like me, you were 9 or younger when the Tiananmen Square protests took place. I knew they happened, but had no idea how recently, or the fact that they are just the cornerstone in a whole archway of problems in China.

I was trying to figure out why I remembered the Berlin Wall falling so vividly, which was in Novenber of that same year, yet had no recollection of the June 4th massacre. But I think I know why - being 9, the Wall falling was covered heavily that fall in class as it was a triumph for peace, democracy, etc. A massacre right before the school year ended would not have been, unless I'd been a little older, say 8th grade or high school. Fragile young minds, or some other such BS.

Boy I'd love to know what was going on in astrological terms in 1989, right?

Beyond that, I also beseech you to follow all the links of interest in that Tiananmen article. Especially the ones for Falun Gong and Deng Xiaoping. From there you will get even more linkage to be distracted and educated by.

I defy you to get up to speed on the state of human rights in China and not totally lose your shit. The only reason I am not crying right now is because I am at work and therefore put in special effort to keep my shit together.

And before anyone tries to say that we do horrible things to our citizens too (or more recently, other nations' citizens, Guantanamo), please make sure a comment like that is accompanied by a link/explanation of why you are drawing parallels. We have done some heinous things in the name of America, but we do not (that I'm aware of!) institute this kind of Orwellian censorship on a daily basis.

To put a finer point on that title (which is meant to say "Should I be embarrassed?"), I can't be 100% certain the grammar I used is allowed. Which is actually a great segue into the topic at hand - If your native tongue is English, why learn a foreign language? And if you learn one, or more, which ones?

The search for the answer to these questions began this weekend when I had a sudden attack of guilt over the fact that I currently xuexi Hanyu, as opposed to apprendimento dell'italiano. I don't have any ties to China, whereas I do have a living and breathing grandmother whom I miss very much, living in Rome. But she speaks fluent English as a result of having lived here many years, so there's never been a great necessity. The only annoyance is that we inconvenience her relatives when we visit, since they feel the need to be our tour guides, and thus she is constantly playing interpreter. I harbor no illusions that I want or even need to be fluent in Italian, but boy a mid-level conversational vocabulary sure would be nice.

Beyond even that, there's the question I've been dreading that my mother posed this weekend. To paraphrase, it's something like "Don't the Chinese think all Americans trying to speak their language are basically performing monkeys?" Which, I think in a lot of cases may be true. If I bust out rudimentary Mandarin in a business meeting, when most of the participants speak very good English, it doesn't help. And although the goods of the company I currently work for are largely made in China, learning Mandarin isn't necessarily a career booster. We have two native speakers already working in sourcing, and speaking Mandarin doesn't a good sourcer make.

So why am I learning Mandarin anyway?

Well, I'll tell you a secret. The real motivation behind my Mandarin lessons was anger. I got really tired of hearing people, sometimes at work and sometimes just in the media or general public, making huge, sweeping generalizations about the Chinese. I wanted to call up Wen Jiabao and say "Welcome to the first world, buddy. Now everyone thinks you guys are assholes, too."

While I realize China has had a long and illustrious history of human rights problems, which it is now following up with serious environmental issues, it just seemed that, not unlike the benefits of American culture versus our shortcomings, China's amazing cultural contributions were being swept under the rug of modern stereotypes. "China is the world's factory" in polite discourse translated to something like "Those crazy, ambitious foreigners who wouldn't know QA if it bit them in the ass" in less sophisticated company, and only went downhill from there . I was sick and tired of hearing about it, so I set out to learn a little for myself.

What is still appalling to me is that even though the various ethnicities of Chinese comprise about 20% of the world's population, learning their language is seen as a fad. Sure, I think to try to "pick up Mandarin" for business makes zero sense. We'd be equally pressed to learn any one of many Indian dialects, or Japanese (like lots of people rushed to do in the 80's and 90's), or hell why not an Arabic dialect? How sad is it that we have trampled all over the fertile crescent, but the majority of we the people don't even know how to say "hello", "goodbye", or "insurgent" in their language?

It's not a job thing for me, it's a matter of curiosity and respect. It's the same reason that I do very much want to have passable Italian, Spanish, and French skills. I don't know whether I'll ever live in China, Italy, or France, which is kind of a shame because immersion really is the only way to mastery, but it is what it is. There's a reason there's only one Jim Brown. I'd love to take even level 1, never mind level 8, of the HSK, but if I am learning enough to enrich my life and make me less ignorant, then I guess that's just right.

And really I think that's the best secret of all - that learning a language, even lackadaisically, means at some point you are forced to understand more about the people. What little I have learned about China that I didn't know before is remarkable and really useful to me, even if it gets me no nearer to ordering lunch at a family-run joint in Chinatown.

Meiguanxi. Wo ai Puntonghua.

That's what I feel like after my bike ride yesterday. I totally want to be this lady when I grow up, minus the ponytail. I would think in combat that thing would be a liability, but I digress.

Okay, I promised t-shirt pics yesterday, but I was spent last night after biking back and forth between Eastham and Chatham. 10 miles (ea. way) sounds easier than it is for my body. But as happens with most trips, the way back felt easier that the going, and the whole day was rather lovely, all told.

But so I am up early this morning because one of the women in the bunk next to me decided 6:30 was the right time to arise, and I could not get back to sleep. The good news is this means you get pics!

Here are the t-shirts I made for the Boston Handmade show. I managed to sell the 350 ppm and grace shirts, which garnered $25 for Oxfam, so that's a good start.













I have to take better pictures of the samsara dress, and the China and HAES shirts so I can get them up on Etsy. The TDP shirt, which started it all, is mine.

The shirts did get me into a lot of dialogue at the show, which was totally the point! So for that alone I was really psyched. A lot of people asked me about the HAES shirt, and all of them were pretty excited to find out what it was. I even got another woman turned on to Shapely Prose, which made my day.

I've skipped some of the other slogans for now, but if you have a new slogan idea (someone at the show said "Ask me about homesteading", which I thought was pretty cool) or have t-shirts you're trying to get rid of, drop me a line! I could use both.

Other than that, I can say the show was fabulous, and a huge thank you to Jess Burko for organizing it, she rocks!

Hope you guys enjoy your week, even if you are stuck at work. Happy impending 4th!

I just arrived in Eastham and am settling in for about 3 days of sun, cycling, reading, and knitting. Vivo el verano!

I'll be updating the blog tomorrow with pictures of the Ask Me About t-shirts, which did sell at the Boston Handmade show on Saturday. But for now, here is a salient post I penned while waiting in line for my rental car at Logan yesterday. Enjoy. :)

My mother asked me today if I wanted a lecture, and I stupidly told her to lay it on me. Long and short, she said I was getting too personal on my blog again. Meaning, I prefer to keep this a mostly business & politics page, but sometimes I slip into catharsis and so it has been lately. It's usually a few days to a week at a time.

She made the common complaint, that a prospective employer wouldn't like it, although she's never been capable of articulating why. My present employer, who I have no plans to leave short of Norah Gaughan calling me personally, knows almost all these things about me. It doesn't matter because I show up professionally and do my job well. Far more than whether or not they read about my latest crush or that I once contemplated posing nude for a zine, I worry most that my efforts at the office will be above and beyond expectations so I can be seen as irreplaceable.

Now, no one is truly irreplaceable, but you get my point. The doing is the thing. If I were talking about the company, that would be a disclosure issue and another story. My guideline is that I don't say anything on this blog that I wouldn't want my boss to read. I think this tells you I don't easily blush.

But so why say it at all? Isn't it enough to call a friend or a professional? Why not make certain posts "friends only"? As I wait in line for my rental car today I can finally explain what it is that makes blogging about personal struggles different and important - it holds me accountable.

If I tell you who I really am here, where quite literally all the world can see, I cannot later pretend to be someone else. That doesn't mean I don't or won't change, but that my true and changing nature is always documented, so I can't deny those feelings when it might be convenient to do so. As you may have guessed, that was a problem for me in the past, and this has really helped extinguish that troublesome habit of shape-shifting.

My aim is to keep myself wide open, not to embarrass myself or others. If I fail there, feel free to sound off and let me know. Otherwise, in the words of Mary J. Blige, take me as I am, or have nothing at all.

I was invited to join this group called The Knit Girls on Ravelry (login needed for those links, FYI). So I joined because it looked like a bunch of cool young ladies with tattoos. So far so good, right?

Then I got this email from them re: a fundraiser. You can see more about this on their official website (no login needed). I still don't totally understand it, but I think the money goes to the winner of the monthly pin up contest and helps fund her yarn habit. Not sure, so see the site and don't take my word for it.

So I think I'm a pretty liberated person, and I had always liked pin-ups and heels and fishnets (and a lot of other naughty things best left unspoken), but lately I have started to separate the wheat from the chaff. I still maintain the things that bring me personal pleasure in the bedroom, regardless of how kinky or odd they might be, but high heels and a lot of other traditionally feminine items went out to make way for a different idea of what is sexy and liberating to me. As part of this process, the pin-up thing didn't get reconciled, and I'm still ambivalent about it.

On the one hand, I think they're gorgeous. As a bi-girl and a girl who likes to dress up, I'm attracted to them on at least two levels. But then there are so many questions - Why do I think that's pretty? Does a pin up have to be overtly, traditionally feminine to be effective? What about the size of the girl? Age? The list goes on.

Yet the most important question in my mind is, why would anyone want to pose naked with yarn covering their sensitive bits, for all of Ravelry to see?

Discolsure: I once applied to be a Suicide Girl. This was two years ago after I had just left Mr. S and was in a pretty desperate place in terms of both money and self-esteem. Bonus for my ego: I was accepted. But I never posted any pics or completed the process, because I realized that would follow me forever, and I wasn't 100% sure I was okay with that.

(That said, there are titty pics of me floating around out there on some of my exes PCs, and even on the computers of a few people I was never officially dating, so I'm not exactly writing this from the convent.)

Now, I don't want to tar and feather all pin-up hopefuls with the Low Self-Esteem brush. But you know, if it looks, swims, and quacks like a duck, well. I've been there is all I'm sayin'. And since you don't get a ton of cash for doing this, it seems fairly obvious that the primary motivation is the attention and praise.

Okay, sure, why not? It's nice to be validated sometimes. And I am all for sex, as I have been attesting to lately, and I think that anything that makes *you* feel sexy is great. I just hope anyone who's competing in the monthly photo contest is getting what she was really hoping for, without a side of internally-generated BS.

That said, I rejoined the group today, because I realized that even if I don't agree with or get the whole thing, there are some fabulous ladies in the group that I seem to have a lot in common with. So it behooves me to just agree to disagree on the photo thing and enjoy what they have to say about other topics.

What do you think? Pin Ups - Super Sexy Retro Throwback, or Sorrowful Self-Esteem Booster? Something in between? Something else entirely?

Update: I visited the Knit Girls website again, and although a lot of the pics posted in the voting forums involved skin, practically none of the winners' profile shots did. Hen you yi si.

Mais oui!

I took some pictures of the first crude, trial-and-error attempt from last night, will post those probably Friday evening. This is due to time constraints, and due to the fact that by then I will have the correct, happy, finished ones to post too, so it will be much more satisfying.

That said, this all feeds BRILLIANTLY into this:

350.org t-shirt design contest.



Brought to you by my faves and yours, Esty and Craftster.

I probably won't win because my design is super plain, but wev. It helps 350.org and I was going to make them anyway - sweet vegan cupcakes of delight! It's too perfect.

Also, Big G, thank you for the striaght talk about paint because I totally went to Dick Blick in the Fens and scored this awesome opaque fabric paint. It dries and looks fabulous, but no work with the stamps. So back to DB again tonight for stencils, because self-printed stencils are a lot of fun for the detail-inclined, but they pretty much disintegrate after first use.

Hey, design's an interative process. At least I figured all this in out plenty of time to make sure you guys get t-shirts that are actually awesome for wearing, right? Shi de.

No more talk of the mens! There's knitting to be done!







So, aside from desperately needing pictures of this on an actual person, I'm really quite pleased with the whole thing. Hopefully you will be too!

More later, I am going to send off this reminder email (You'll all be there Saturday in Union Square, riiiight?), and get some Zzz's.

I read a blog today of someone I vaguely know (as most blogs belong to people I vaguely know) who was gushing about an acquaintance's themed wedding. And that was cool, because the wedding was really sharply styled, but it made me realize that she wouldn't be talking about this unless she was *planning her own*.

At which point I was reminded of what my old friend Chris said to my other old friend John one day when talking about woman-trouble:

John: "Well, yeah, I'm just kind of hoping I can wait it out until they break up."

Chris (Shaking his head) "Yeah, that used to work. But at our age if you wait too long, they don't break up, they get married."

Apparently I waited too long. Not for her, for her boyfriend. Some things are never meant to be, right?

Okay, I know I've been talking about relationships a fair bit the last few days. I was triggered this weekend, so sue me. It will all end later tonight when I post that tank pattern anyway, so, as per usual, yarn will save us all.

Kate Harding, or more accurately her resident poster Sweet Machine, just posted a review of Amy Singer's More Big Girl Knits!

This confirms that awesomeness begets awesomeness. Or that all the coolest people knit. Or both. I am overwhelmed by crossover happiness.

I was looking through More Big Girl Knits at the bookstore a few nights ago, and it proved edifying. The sizing in my patterns has been based on the sizing I learned from working at my day job for a while now. That means that an XS is a 32" bust, and a XXL is a 44" bust (standard v-neck pullover, 12gg, 2 ply). I know, at least two of my friends just went "WTF?"

But that is how most commercial clothing is sized. Conversely, BGK and MBGK start their patterns at size L as a mid-40's" chest, going up to somewhere in the 60s for 3XL. In addition to that, the CYC sizing standards that Knitty (Amy Singer's website) requests all designers use puts a woman's XS at 28-30" with zero ease, and a 2XL as 48-50". You can see their whole chart here.

If your head hasn't exploded yet, take heart. Because when you are knitting for youself and someone asks you what size you're making, the only truly accurate answer is "My size." Viva la adaptacion!

I've been reading the blog of this girl who also does fashioney stuff in New England, and lately it has been nothing but a replay of my life, 3 years ago. Which, for anyone who knows me, is a movie that only I needed to see the first time, and certainly no one needs to see twice.

That said, it pained, exasperated, and humored me enough to write this:

Dear Person I have yet to meet (or person I have met who is totally crushing on me and hasn't told me yet - a girl can dream, right?),

I used to be really fucked up. But I am not anymore. I know a lot of people say this, but I have the therapist's receipts to prove it. Normally that wouldn't necessarily prove anything, except that I needed therapy, but the last time I was there she practically asked what on earth I was still doing on the couch. So I got up and left. This is a good thing.

Long story short, I can't promise I won't do anything nuts. But I will thankfully not try to tell you how to live or who to be. More importantly, I will likely be light on my feet and flee quickly should you try to tell me how to live or who to be, which saves us both a lot of trouble. In other words, if you're not ready for a relationship, or you can't take me as I am, I won't waste my time trying to figure out why. It's a win-win situation!

Other than that, I can tell you I am great in bed, so if you are still trying to find me and Google maps has steered you in the wrong direction or something, I suggest you waste no time and invest in GPS, because you are missing out.

Sincerely,

Jen

Okay, I feel better now. Assuming one's basic needs are met (and mine are since I just had lunch), I think levity heals all wounds.

Okay, this week is crunch time to get everything finished for the Boston Handmade show in Union Square this Saturday, 6/28!

As such, I'm rounding out the work on those recycled t-shirts for charity. A lot of them are going to be tanks, since it's all summertime and shit. They'll each be $10.00 a piece with $5.00 of that going to Oxfam USA. The other $5.00 goes back into making more t-shirts, natch.

Here are the finalists for slogans. First, the three I will definitely be printing:

Ask me about thermal depolymerization

Ask me about 350 ppm

Ask me about iambic pentameter
(This came to me today after seeing the only Shakespeare nut I know at his latest book release. I'm ambivalent about Shakespeare, but I think the more people who talk about literature, the better.)

And here are the other finalists that I totally need you guys to vote on in the comments section:

Ask me about MDG (this one is important and I will probably print it. Should I write the whole thing out or just do MDG?)

Ask me about Cape Wind
Ask me about the Equal Rights Amendment (probably written "The ERA")
Ask me about ibogaine
Ask me about The China Study
Ask me about rice (Ask me about corn?)
Ask me about parabens
Ask me about vegan cupcakes (!)
Ask me about $15/hr. (Because by my logic THAT is a living wage)

Anyway, more suggestions are always welcome. I'll probably print between 5 and 7 slogans to start. The best ones are the ones that are both serious or important in content, but at first glance also kind of make you chuckle or go WTF? without any further explanation.

Also, that whole thing about me having the tank pattern finally ready "for realz yo" is not total bullshit. I did 9/10 of it last week but am still trying to figure out how to tell you guys to do the lace part by hand. I am almost done with that and am hoping to get it up tonight, so I can send out a link to it with the "don't forget to come to Somerville on Saturday!" e-mailer.

More later. Speaking of $15/hr, I have work to do.

I've been reading Michelle Obama Watch much the same way some people read Perez Hilton - that is, religiously, with my morning cuppa.

Today's first post took me over to a Fox News transcript where, in addition to the yuk that was already being promised to me, I found this:

CAL THOMAS, SYNDICATED COLUMNIST: In this campaign, we are being asked to accept three things simultaneously, the first woman with a credible chance of being president, the first African-American with the chance to being president and, whoever Michelle Obama is going to be styled, the angry black woman, first lady? This is an awful lot.

I'm not really sure how to summarize all the things about this paragraph that seem so very wrong to me, so I'll stick to this one point: Cal Thomas thinks that asking Americans to swallow Black, Female, and Angry Black Female all in one election might just be sociological overload. This doesn't make me mad. What does make the smoke come out of my ears is that - wait for it - he's right.

So I am going to do the portion of the American population that might be reeling after all this intense cultural change some props. I give you the New World Order Cheat Sheet*:

Women = Human
Non-Gendered = Human
Multi-Gendered = Human
Black People = Human
Brown People = Human
Yellow People = Human
People of any color not mentioned above = Human
Gay = Human
Child = Human
Non-Partisan = Human
Non-American = Human
Non-Christian = Human
Non-Religious = Human
Any combination of the above mentioned qualities = Human

*The resultant data for this cheat sheet is measured from a Human datum of White, Euro-descent, Straight, God-fearing, American, Partisan Male.

If you are still confused after reading the Cheat Sheet, I also have a summary you may find helpful:

PEOPLE WHO DON'T LOOK, THINK, OR ACT LIKE YOU ARE STILL PEOPLE. GET UP TO SPEED ALREADY.

I know everyone, including the Datum, have the right to see others however they please. But it just completely blows my mind that anyone on this earth is still emotionally or mentally challenged by anything having to do with race or gender.

I also know this shit is happening all over the globe and is much more severe in many places outside of America. I know that women only got the right to vote in the 20th century, much less be president. I know! And yet I am still so flabbergasted that it's a problem, anywhere, on any level. I just don't get it.

Also, why is flabbergasted not spelled flabberghasted? As in, aghast?

I digress, as per usual. Tank pattern coming tonight, for realz yo.

I rented a car on Hotwire in anticipation of spending a week with a recent acquaintance of mine in the Chatham area. $99 for the whole week, then with taxes and insurance it'll be approx. $150 in total. So far so good, right? I even get to use the car before my trip to get all my stuff to the Boston Handmade marketplace show on the 28th, plus go to Home Depot and shit. Score!

Today I find out I am now sans rooming (and roomie) since my new friend's place is no longer available. What's a girl with a non-refundable rental car who's already taken her last 4 vacation days off work to do?

Well, a 20 minute semi-fruitless search led me toward thoughts of nothing but day-trips to the beach (talk about a waste of gas, right?). Trying to find a cheap motel room on the outer cape in June is a little like hunting baby unicorn - the promise of total bliss lies in capturing that which never existed in the first place.

But lo! It turns out that if we turn "baby unicorn" into "vegan hot dogs" we get a little closer to happiness. Hi Hostels, the same NPO that brought you Amsterdam On a Shoestring and That Weekend in Montreal You'll Never Forget brings you - TADA! - Eastham, MA.

Yes, there is a Hi Hostel in a secluded area of Eastham. I know, right? Who'd have guessed you could do Eastham for $32 a night?

So that's exactly what I did. It's a dorm setting, so, you know, all my shit is staying IN THE CAR, but other than that, it gives me a great place to sleep and shower and probably some free WiFi, which is key.

So all told my trip looks like this:

$150 - compact car for a week, unlimited miles
$128 - room for four nights in Eastham
$50 - Money I'll probably spend on gas
$75 - Money I'll probably spend on food and entertainment
Priceless - Getting away to the outer cape for 5 days with a new bikini!

Very, very excited at my good fortune and ability to travel on a budget.

I'm planning to return to the Cape this year twice - Once between 6/29 and 7/3, and again in P-town with the girls on Aug 9th and 10th. I am very excited, cannot wait to go, even if the details of my going are not set in stone.

I came across some pictures I took last summer while I was in Mattapoisett. Don't get too excited, I'm not cool enough to know anyone with digs there; I was delivering a skirt to a girl who had bought it at a fair in town a few days earlier. Man, I can tell you I envied her and her house guests, they were having dinner out on the deck when I arrived, and this place was gorgeous. The whole thing was straight out of a Ralph Lauren catalog.

Anyway, after I traded clothes for cash, I drove my car down to the end of the road where I knew there was a lighthouse and some beach. I had completely forgotten I had my camera with me that day, and took several pictures because the sunset was so full of purpley-goodness. I did my best to capture the moment, and a year later, here are a few of the shots:












Happy Damn-Near-First-Day-of-Summer! May you be lucky enough between now and fall to find yourself down the Cape with a beautiful sunrise or sunset.

More sartorial stuff later; am finishing pre-ordered skirts and will write the ladder tank pattern (finally) this week.

Okay, taking northbard's advice, I set up monthly installments ($15/mo, each) with Oxfam, Doctors Without Borders, and WBUR.

I am looking for a fourth charity, ideally something local. I have been thinking of Rosie's Place, the CWU, and Project Bread. I had considered donating to 350.org, but I think they mostly need people to get the word out, and since they have a lot of local gatherings, I've decided to start by donating my time to that effort instead.

Any other suggestions are helpful! Who have you given to in the past year that you feel strongly about?

Or not. I had been thinking recently about how I use "bluealvarez" as my handle for most things, and hadn't Googled it recently. Well, this morning turned up an oldie but goodie:

BlueAlvarez fan fic!

Okay, this story isn't *about* me, but I know the woman who wrote it. She's the author of Philosophy of Wicca and I was a frequent poster on her Mother's Magic message board in college. I have that board to thank for a righteous week I spent getting busy in the UK (not with her), but I digress.

Anyway, I thought it was so funny that she co-opted my screen name for this story, I had to share. I can't claim you'll like the story, FYI, it's just the ZOMGROFLMAO! factor that got me.

I just read this over at The F-Word:

And regardless of what stage of recovery one is at or how long they’ve been there, many of us can never diet. Not ever. For someone recovering from an eating disorder, dieting is equivalent to a recovering alcoholic taking “just one sip.”

Boy there's an analogy I can relate to! This is so true for me right now because I've been thinking about dieting again. Although I've definitely toned up and slimmed down from riding the bike to work, I didn't magically shed a whole pant size like I was hoping to. And I'd been contemplating dieting again recently for no other reason than - you guessed it - a man.

This drives me nuts. Because truth be told, no man I've ever been with thought I needed to lose weight, even when I was heavier. And I've been with some princes, but I've also been with some real assholes who definitely would have said something if they'd thought I was fat. No, the voice in my head condemning my ass is my own.

Why is it still so tempting to deprive myself of nutrition so there can be less of me, when I know full well there are people all over the world who would kill to have half the food I eat everyday at their disposal because they are STARVING? It's sick, I tell you.

Speaking of that, instead of dieting I marched myself straight over to Puma and got a new bikini that makes even my "athletic" legs look fucking hot. Then I had Ms. Katesplosion cut my hair down to a nice new pixie for this hot weather. The whole thing was very boom, pow, how ya like me now?

Until I realized that the $70 I spent on that bikini (yes, I know) could have been sent to Oxfam to feed said starving people. I'd like to think this isn't an either-or situation - I make enough money to have my bikini and feed them too. So now I am on a Fiore's fast so I can send them $70.

I am going to start posting when and how much I give to charity, including volunteer stuff and BlueAlvarez sales that contribute (those hot t-shirts are going to be at the Boston Handmade show on the 28th in Somerville! Ask Me About 350 ppm bitch!) Not so much to guilt you guys, since most of you already do better at that than I do (like Ms. Hammer) but to hold myself accountable. I heard the term "slacktivist" yesterday and was like "oh holy shit that is totally unacceptable". Please, let's all agree not to be slacktivists.

What was that Tori Amos said? Got enough guilt to start my own religion?